I see a green tree and I want to paint it black!


The bitchy redhead must confess, she loves everything holiday related! Maybe it’s because this will be my first actual holiday in a country that celebrates  X-mas, but I happily got on the slide of trees, reindeer and presents but of course I wanted everything to be in my favorite doomy and gloomy fashion!

Sadly this year I had no time for proper holidays preparations, so this is me, wishing myself and all of you a black X-mas (or Festivus!) next year, and all you need for it! 

I see a green tree and I want to paint it black!
Choosing a different colour for your tree can be all you really need for that special effect, my tree this year is dark purple (and oh so pretty, i will show you at the end!!) but you can find a whole variety of black and other dark coloured trees out there is the plastic tree forest called the internets. 

Your “garden variety” black tree can be bought on e-bay

Or if you are feeling really special, how about upside down black tree?

I’m special, small upside down tree kind of special!

Or just use a branch, a black, old, preferably burned in the fires of hell branch.

If you are crafty you can always make your own grim decorations, just be careful as if you just fancy yourself crafty your house will look like after a black glitter sand storm

Yeah, maybe just find some really cool decorations online instead, the kind that’s made by people who know what they are doing. 

festive little dead things

Or plainly buy some at your local store, that’s what I did

Don’t forget the cute little reindeer! 

They taste pretty good too! (they really do, my partner is Scandinavian and I got to try some thanks to him). 

And most important, make sure your holiday decorations represent you!

I know nobody cares but here is our little tree, it’s purple, small and cute!
I could not find an evil Santa to go under it, so this year The Golem from Prague takes his place, because while bringing you presents is fun, making a killing spree in your name is a way cooler holiday’s fairy tale

Marry X-mas and happy Festivus for the rest of us!

London bitching, baby!

Yes, the bitchy redhead had packed her suitcases and migrated to a colder climate, Londoners, run for your life! 
Future bitching about the weather, wrong side driving and the unfortunate fashion choices of the queen will be brought to all those who missed me (all two of you), shortly!

Photo by TNT magazine

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Today at - The bitchy redhead loves you- corner: Alice in Wonderland

What can i say, Tim Burton, Johnny Depp and a story originally written while on drugs, it does not get any better then this!

So today, lest yapping, more pictures, (because I’m lazy like that).

Of course many Alice inspired items and fashion pops up like poisonous mushrooms after the rain, to ride the waves of Burton’s magnificent work.

Some of them quite cute actually.

But when there’s a real credit to be given, the bitchy redhead will happily give it. This gorgeous  Alice In Wonderland fashion editorial for the american Vogue was done back at December 2003. The famous photographer Annie leiboviz took magical pictures of works by various world famous fashion designers, who just for this editorial made Alice inspired outfits and also posing besides her as the story characters. The model is Natalia Vodianova.


Tom Ford

Olivier Theyskens for Rochas

Jean Paul Gaultier

Christian Lacroix

John Galliano (its so fitted that he will be the one screaming “off with her head!”)

Marc Jacob

Viktor & Rolf

Karl Lagerfeld

Donatella Versace

Nicolas Ghesquiere

How awesome could it have been if Burton would use those outfits in his movie?


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It’s sweet it’s cute, it’ll make you wanna puke!

After the  pink sugar overload and severe tooth ache i got after last weeks entry, i spent this week trying to find a deeper meaning to why I’m so damn allergic to cutesy things. After spending about 10 minutes on this profound soul search i came to the stunning conclusion, cause I’m one sick bitch that’s why!

And as befitting to one sick bitch, i gathered together the things that i find cute. Now the more gentle fragile minded and squeamish of you may find this things stomach turning..tough!

This little guys i would love to put on my bed, what can i say, i guess “hello kitty” just ain’t doing it for me.

http://www.roadkilltoys.com/

At roadkill toys you can find the perfect gift for the little psycho to be. You just gotta love those adorable designer made plush toys that looks like they have been freshly scraped from the road!

How can you beat a fresh squishy roadkill in a little body bag for your favorite nephew birthday? (yes i train all my nephews to be at least as sick as me :p)

Oh and btw, i know x-mas is over but if you were wondering, the hedgehog is my favorite!!

PS: I’m a big animal lover and in no way encourage any way of harming animals.I prefer animals to humans any day, but if you get offended by this, grow a sense of humor!

Another bunch of sickeningly cute plush toys are these cuddly little buggers:

http://www.s-inc.com/hangry-angry/main.php

By the name Hangry & Angry. Hangry & Angry is a Japanese pop duo and is a collaboration with a Harajuku and Gothic Lolita  fashion store of the same name, and serves to promote various products from the store, including stuffed toys fashioned after the members. (Bless Wikipedia)

I’m, personally not a big fan of their music (and by “not a big fan” i mean they sound like T.A.T.U but not in Russian, which takes all the fun out of it) but be my guest and judge by yourself

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b-Kb4sZH1fw

The plush toys however are damn adorable!!

What can i say, they sure know how to brand things in Japan :P

More of adorable dead animals can be found at Skelanimals, cause dead animals need love too!!!

http://skelanimals.com/

-drools- Me want!!

This Valentines when your boyfriend will give you Papilloma you will smile!

With this hilariously cute GIANTmicrobes.

http://www.giantmicrobes.com/

Awww don’t you want to have malaria?

How about cuddle in bed with some swine flue?

The ultimate toy for sick people…literally.

And to end this post, before my credit card will suffer from it, the dreaded Hello Kitty, coming over to the dark side!!

I will take Emo Stewie over her any day!!

Cupcakes are the new black?

Don’t get me wrong, i like cupcakes as much as the next bitch, they are sweet and contains chocolate, whats not to love? But it seems lately cupcakes are the new favorite flavor of the dark side, since when cupcakes are - oh so goth-?! Everywhere i look there are cutesy lovey emo kids running around with cupcakes. Emo’s don’t suppose to be cute…they are annoying enough as is.

There are even manuals to teach emo kids how to be cute, liek this one: http://www.wikihow.com/Be-a-%22Cupcake-Emo%22

This bitch is suffering from cutesy overdose, the dark side suppose to seduce you with cookies but it seems that the cute side seduce the dark side with cupcakes - faceplam-

Yes, cupcakes are here to take over the world, they are sweet and cute and you wont be able to resist them, mwahahaha!

Even zombies love cupcakes, with brains of course.

The evil cupcake is coming to get you, you better run!

I guess all that sugar would be easier to swallow if the cupcake world domination would stop with food, but nooooo it takes over the fashion industry as well. Oh the horror!

Got to admit Jeffree Star does the cutesy overdose with style.

And even my beloved T.U.K shoes fall victim to the takeover of the evil cupcakes.

http://tukshoes.com/

This monstrosety combines two things that makes me cringe, cutesy pinky emo cupcakes, and UGG boots. UGGly indeed. I dunno why thousands of blond bimbos around the world will pay good money to walk around in those, as if they are on their way to ice fishing, but who am i to tell them on what to throw daddy’s hard earned cash. Now available also for the gloomy spoiled brats, just because their adolescent lives are oh so hard and nobody can understand them does not mean they cant be as fashionable and “unique” as the next gloomy emo that looks just like them.

Show the world your life time adoration with cupcakes and permanently place them on your body. I bet it will look so cool when you are 80. For those who must share their unique (insert eyeroll here) ideas of body art there is this little section of a site who dedicated to….you got it! Cupcakes!

http://www.allthingscupcake.com/category/tattoos/

The bitchy redhead resents the cuteness attack of the cupcakes! Its sweet, its cute, it makes me wanna puke!

Today at the - The bitchy redhead loves you- corner: The oatmeal

http://theoatmeal.com/comics/facebook_suck

We all must love certain things, even the crabby bitchy whiny ones needs a smile and a laugh occasionally, usually its as a direct result of others people bitching and whining. So today at the very first ever - The bitchy redhead loves you- corner The Oatmeal! Not the mushy yucky food that they used to force feed us in the kindergarten (as years go by i truly believe that i was in a fascistic kindergarten) but the awesome talented comics that is a true mastery of bitching!

And as you may imagine nothing annoys a bitch more then someone who is better then her at her only talent, so this is not really a positive post, don’t get frightened, everything is back to normal.

This time The Oatmeal writes about Facebook, the only reason I’m not gonna elaborately bitch about Facebook now is cause I’m planing to do so lately :P

Enjoy, and make sure to check The Oatmeal out frequently, a guaranteed pleasure.

http://theoatmeal.com

Things that annoy the hell out of you No2

Slow old people. I can deal with slow, i can deal with old, but the combination between the two when you are trying to catch a bus at the morning is unbearable! Move it or loose it grandpa!

Things that annoy the hell out of you No3

To see the backside of your bus driving off just as you run to the bus station, and then wait for the next one in the cold for 20 minutes.

Things that annoy the hell out of you No1

Getting up at 6 am Sunday morning to go to work.

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Retro bitching

As a big lover of retro adds pin-up art  and all things that are bitchy, there was no end to my joy as i first layed my eyes on these. Probably the first place where i seen the sentence that is a life motto for so many. Awesome retro-style adds by Ed Polish and Darren Wotz are esthetically pleasing and all too true, you just cant bit that combo.

Yes! Give the bitch her chocolate! It will make her shut up for at least 20 seconds!

Nooo what ever will i do without my bitchy pills?? -Gasp!- I may actually be n….nnn….nice.

I want a tattoo that says exactly that.

Vegetables is what my food eats.

Bitches makes excellent mothers! (and housewives)

Its like they read my mind.

Note to my ex, this is not a hint, no need to be extra careful while crossing the road…nope, no need at all.

My first ever blog post, yay…

Why the bitchy redhead?

-Because i’m saving the - 100 positive things about being fugly- for the book publisher!

-Because at my tender age they have refused to cast me for - Grumpy old men-

-The same reason  as to why dogs lick their balls,because i can!

Sick and tired about all the teenage emo kids blogging about their hard hard life? The wannabe fashionistas and their boring fashion blogs that exist only to show their own pictures annoys you? Bored of seeing cutesy stuff in the blogasphere?

Then the bitchy redhead wants you!! (actually she doesn’t, but you may smirk a little after reading this blog, so you may as well check it out)